I debated for a long time about sharing this story, but last week, as I was riding my bike, I knew it was time.

"One day you will tell your story of how you overcame what you went through and it will become someone else's survival guide.”—Brené Brown

I'm not sharing my story because it's extraordinary. I'm sharing it because it adds to the conversation—a conversation that members of the PenPedalPose community have asked me to have. This is not prescriptive or medical advice; it is simply my ever-evolving story, and I hope it helps you as yours unfolds.

While a lot more information is available about menopause today, there are still some gaps. For me, that gap was at the intersection of three unexpected life factors.

Three Unexpected Layers of Complexity

Each of us has a unique set of circumstances that shapes our menopause experience, and for me, these three layers added a significant level of complexity:

1. A Pandemic and Personal Crisis. My final perimenopausal year coincided almost exactly with the onset of COVID-19 and the realization that my son was struggling with mental health and substance use issues.

2. My Identity as a Cyclist. My love for cycling meant I cared about my performance. I wanted to keep riding strong, and the changes in my body felt like a direct threat to that identity.

3. My Vegan Lifestyle. This was the biggest challenge. It was incredibly difficult to find information about managing menopause as a vegan, especially when considering hormone therapy.

These factors don't make me special, but they forced me to seek out specific information that wasn't easy to find. I felt like I was navigating a long, lonely road.

Perimenopause Started Earlier Than Expected

I first learned that I had entered perimenopause when I was in my early forties and had some bloodwork done for a physical exam. I was surprised because that hadn’t really been on my radar. I guess I thought I was too young. My primary care provider told me that perimenopause could last for a decade. Wow! Who knew?

I was on birth control pills, which I had taken for decades, except while trying to get pregnant, so I didn’t think a whole lot about it, except that I started noticing hot flashes or night sweats during the off week of the BCP cycle. Nothing major, but noticeable.

Over the years, those off-week hot flashes became more intense, but restarting the cycle of BCP put an end to them each month, so they weren’t that big a deal. Plus, they mostly happened at night.

Life went on.

So Did Menopause

Then, at my well-woman check-up in March1, 2020, when I was 50 years old, my gynecologist announced that it was time for me to stop taking birth control pills.

Again, this hadn’t been on my radar. We had had no previous discussion about it, other than when, a few years prior, I had mentioned that my PCP suggested going off the Pill and having an IUD to “let me go through the change naturally.” She quickly dismissed the idea and said that all was going well with the Pill, so why change? That was good enough for me.

Note the date. March 1, 2020. After my appointment, I stopped for some avocado toast and did some journaling about the strangeness of  suddenly “aging out” of birth control pills, but life felt hopeful. Spring was around the corner, and that always brightens my spirits.

We all know what happened a few weeks later. The world shut down, and I moved all my student files out of my office to my home, never imagining that I would work from my dining room table for the next 15 months.

So, life got weird that way, but I got my period, as usual on April 1. Nothing seemed too odd after stopping BCP.

Then, I never got another one.

I have heard of so many women having irregular periods for months or years, constantly thinking they were on the brink of menopause, only to be surprised by a period, sometimes with extreme bleeding.

Not me. That was it. I assume the BCP protected me from the irregularity and intensity many women face, but who knows?

So, the countdown to menopause began on April 1, 2020, and I became postmenopausal one year later.

That was quite a year, though.

With COVID in full swing, my son’s challenges became increasingly apparent, and I also started having intense hot flashes and night sweats every day.

I felt consumed and constrained by three things.

1.   I put pressure on myself as a health-minded vegan to handle menopause naturally. Whatever that means. This was entirely self-imposed and reveals some images I had internalized about what being a good vegan who eats healthfully and exercises was supposed to look like.

2.    As things got worse with my son’s issues, I simply didn’t have the bandwidth to worry about my own. They would have to wait. I would have to be “tough enough” to handle the symptoms.

3.    COVID made it more difficult to get to the doctor, even if I had wanted to go.

The hot flashes were miserable at times. There is evidence that eating a significant amount of soy, which I do, lessens hot flashes. If that’s true, I can’t imagine what they would have been like without the tofu and tempeh in my diet. In addition, my anxiety was through the roof. I now believe that this was a result of the combination of menopause and of being constantly triggered by the latest horror on my son’s journey. The mix was rough.

I also had strange joint pain, even in places where I never had previously, and I was not feeling like myself on my bike. I was terribly fatigued on the bike at times and frequently frustrated. That was disheartening. Cycling means so much to me. I kept riding, but I just didn’t feel strong. Weight management also became more difficult, even while riding 4,500-5,500 miles a year.

I pushed through, occasionally Googling symptoms and looking for cures. Facebook showed me ads for $600 cooling bracelets.

Finally, Some Resources

In spring 2022 I read Next Level: Your Guide to Kicking Ass, Feeling Great, and Crushing Goals Through Menopause and Beyond, by Stacy T. Sims & Selene Yeager, and I started listening to Selene’s terrific podcast Hit Play, Not Pause. Both of these resources were enlightening. I learned that menopause can produce so many different symptoms—things that we wouldn’t even think about being related to menopause.

I also decided to try some adaptogens. I followed the suggestions in Next Level and added them one at a time, hoping they would help me ride better, feel better and manage the extreme parenting stress I was experiencing. Ultimately, I added Rhodiola, Ashwagandha, Schisandra and Holy Basil. I felt like they helped.

I started lifting much heavier weights. It worked fairly well, but I also managed to aggravate my spondylolisthesis and stenosis (a story for another day) and have since come to a compromise with heavy dumbbells, minimal spine loading, only gentle plyometrics and no back extensions.

Still, things weren’t quite right. I just couldn’t ride as strongly as I wanted. Life with my son continued to be tough.

A Cyclist’s Shameful Secret

A negative milestone that many won’t understand, but some will, happened during Biking Across Kansas 2024. I haven’t shared it publicly until now because it felt so shameful.

I had to walk my bike up the last several yards of one of the Soldier Hills.

People think Kansas is flat, but it is not. Sure, there are flat places, but there are also some serious hills, and the Soldier Hills are serious.

It was a point of pride that I had never had to walk a hill. I don’t look down on people who do, but I was committed to not doing it. However, on that killer hill, I just lost momentum and didn’t have the leg strength to make the last unbelievably steep yards without falling over. So I got off and walked the rest of the short distance to the top.

No one I knew was around me. Kenny had managed the hill better and was barreling down the other side. He still doesn’t know. It was too embarrassing. I had to figure this out!

A Bombshell at Work

Two days after returning from BAK 2024, I learned that my position was being reclassified in a way that simply didn’t work for me. I decided quickly that I would retire at the end of the year. I had learned in January 2024 that I would become a grandma in the late summer, and things were still rough with my son.

My gynecologist had retired, and I saw my new doctor for the second time in October 2024. By that time, I had a grandbaby, and my son was four months sober. Retirement was 10 weeks away.

I was feeling pretty lousy. My hot flashes had returned in strong force, and I was experiencing Burning Mouth Syndrome. It was painful and scary.

All this time, I had resisted the idea of Menopausal Hormone Therapy (MHT), partly because I believed it was dangerous, and partly because I wasn’t sure there was a vegan option. I knew that some estrogen treatments were made from the urine of pregnant mares, and that wasn’t going to work for me.

After listening to many experts on Hit Play, Not Pause and doing quite a bit of research, I decided to broach the topic with my doctor. She was receptive and, although much younger than I am, said that her patients on MHT seem to feel better. My Physical Therapy Assistant earlier in the year had told me how much MHT helped her, and my sports med doctor (a man) agreed that it could be helpful for some of my skeletal discomfort.

I asked my gynecologist for a vegan MHT solution. I was ready to explore the options. Although she wasn’t familiar with vegan options (or hadn’t had much reason to think about them), she kindly connected me with a pharmacist who gave me some ingredient lists. There was no clear-cut solution. The lists she gave me weren’t vegan.

Life was still busy, wrapping up at work, training my replacement and caring for my grandbaby and his parents, who live with us. I couldn’t spend my time and energy figuring out MHT.

Time to Prioritize My Care

After retiring in December 2024, I decided to wean off the adaptogens. As I finished a bottle, I didn’t replace it. I thought the reduced stress of being retired might make them unnecessary.

I felt like crud for the first few months after retiring. I think my body was experiencing an adrenaline let-down after way too many years of too little sleep, a long commute and a challenging workload, combined with years of family struggle.

Finally, there was a little room for my body to relax, and I got sick. It was a rough winter.

In March 2025, I decided it was time to prioritize my wellness, to give myself a chance to explore MHT.

I embarked on my own research. It was hard to find any information geared towards vegans. I finally found one Facebook group, apparently based in the UK. The names of the MHT mentioned there were a bit different than US names, and it took a lot more Googling, but I ultimately determined that an Estradiol patch and Crinone Progesterone gel would be my best options. There only seem to be two vegan Progesterone options—Crinone and Cyclogest, an IUD, which scared me (maybe unnecessarily). I contacted my doctor’s office and told the nurse about my research. My doctor was on maternity leave, but the nurse worked with another physician to call out the prescription. Apparently, Crinone is often used as part of the preparation for IVF, and my original prescription was written for someone in that situation. It took some communication with the doctor’s office, but it ultimately got corrected after two false starts.

(By the way, I always thought my BCP was vegan, since it was a tablet, not a capsule made with gelatin. Now I know it may have contained lactose, a milk protein. I don’t know for sure about the brands I used over the years, but I know it is a possibility, and I realize I didn’t check into it.)

No Perfect Solution

So, I have been using Estradiol and Crinone since March 2025. It’s not a perfect solution, but my hot flashes stopped after a few weeks on the MHT, and I do feel better. I’m also riding well. There are some downsides.

1.       Even with insurance, it’s a noticeable expense. I have recently decided to try weaning off the adaptogens again. I returned to them in early 2025. Frankly, I need to find some ways to save money because I spend way too much on groceries and other household needs at this time. Life has just gotten so expensive. I finished my Holy Basil a couple nights ago. I’ll gradually let go of the others and see how I feel.

2.       There is an environmental impact because the Crinone comes with more packaging than I would like. I feel bad and think about it every night. Ultimately, though, I feel like I am better able to show up in the world the way I want while using it than without it. I think I can do more good this way, even if I feel a nudge of guilt. At least it’s vegan, which was an even higher priority.

3.       Crinone is hard to get. It’s a bit of an ordeal every month. Apparently, it’s not used that commonly, and the pharmacy can’t keep it on hand. I even had to get some in Florida on my vacation this summer because it was on back order and nowhere in a 50-mile radius of my home had or could get any. Fortunately, one store in Fort Myers had some, so I was able to get my prescription transferred temporarily and continue my MHT.

Sometimes, I still feel a slight sense of shame about “caving in” and using MHT. But I know I shouldn’t.

There is No Shame in Wanting to Feel Our Best

There is no shame in advocating for ourselves and taking steps to prioritize our wellness. MHT is not a magic solution. It hasn’t alleviated all of my menopause symptoms or reversed my aging. I ride better and I feel better, though, and those things add to my quality of life, which allows me to serve the people and responsibilities in my life more effectively.

I also color my hair. Part of me feels like I should let it go gray, but the truth is that I am happier with brighter hair. I know that for a fact. Some people look beautiful with gray hair. I don’t. I don’t feel beautiful with it either. So, I get it colored and do my best to communicate my ethics around products to my hairstylist.

I did the same with the MHT. I spent time and energy researching the solution that best suited my values, even if it’s not perfect. If a better option becomes available, I’ll definitely check it out.

"Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” –Maya Angelou

This story is undoubtedly incomplete, but I decided it was time to share.

Maybe it will help others, especially midlife women facing extreme life stress, like I did for so long; menopausal athletes; and vegans who want to thrive while living their values.

Please send me an email at sheri@penpedalpose.com if you have something to add to the conversation or if you would like to read and/or talk more about menopause-related topics.