This final Niyama is the one that challenges me the most. Isvara Pranidhana is generally interpreted as “surrendering to a higher power.” Many will recognize this as one of the key tenets of 12-step programs. Although 12-step programs have not been part of our family’s journey, they have been crucial for countless others. I respect this. Still, I struggle with it.

When I first reviewed this Niyama to prepare for this blog post, I initially felt at a loss for words. My bike ride a couple of days ago, as so many have been over the years, was inspirational for me, however, and allowed me to find an application for Isvara Pranidhana that resonates with me. It’s the one that I will highlight here.

I’ll be honest. The idea of declaring powerlessness and putting my fate in the hands of a Higher Power, however that Power manifests itself, just doesn’t sit well.

I certainly don’t claim that my personal spirituality is the “right” one or even that I have a perfect understanding of my own. It’s just what currently feels most right for me.

My conceptualization of “God” or a “Higher Power” is different than the one with which I was raised. Again, that’s not to say that one is right and the other is wrong. We each have to find our own way at any given time in our lives. The God with which I was raised was one who would exercise judgment in a variety of forms and who certainly could direct my fate, despite my free will.

As I was pedaling and thinking about Isvara Pranidhana this week, I realized a couple of things.

First, I do visualize and believe in a Source Energy. I meditate on that Energy and ask for renewal of it each day. I can easily see and feel it in my center when I get still and call on it. I use this infusion of Source Energy to empower my choices and actions, to bolster my courage and increase my confidence. I don’t envision it—correctly or incorrectly—as a Higher Power directing my fate. Instead, it is what connects me to the Universe and imbues me with responsibility to contribute to the greater good, while optimizing my strengths, talents, resources and experiences.

Second, as I thought about what I see as a Higher Power to which I can “surrender,” I realized that this is Nature. Nature, in my mind, is fueled by Source Energy, but Source Energy doesn’t direct it to do this or cause that. I recognize Nature’s power, though, and I surrender to it, whether that means the inevitability of aging, the destructive force of storms, raging illnesses that can’t be stopped or the unpredictability of weather.

Still, I’m not sure that “surrender” connotes “powerlessness,” at least not complete powerlessness. My form of surrender feels more like acknowledgement and acceptance. Yet, I still feel a great sense of both privilege and responsibility to do what I can to work from whatever position Nature creates.

For example, aging happens. Menopausal hormonal changes happen. Those are Nature. I can’t change them. However, I can accept those conditions (What choice do I have?) and work with them and from them. I can educate myself and make decisions about hormonal therapy. I can increase and/or adapt my strength training. I can pay closer attention to my protein intake. Without surrendering to Nature’s changes, I might not do any of those things.

Surrendering to the Higher Power of Nature, in that sense, positions me to make informed choices and to create positive conditions for my life and for others.

On my bike I thought of “surrendering” as things I can control and things I can’t. Here are some non-exhaustive lists:

Things I Can’t Control (and must surrender to):

• Nature (weather, some health conditions, aging)
• Other people’s choices and actions
• Political circumstances
• Other people’s energy
• Whether people are interested in my content and offerings
• Global suffering of humans, animals & the planet
• Other people’s rants in the media or in person
• The economy

Things I Can Control (and can act on)

• What I do with natural conditions
• My own choices and actions
• My own boundaries
• My self-care
• My vote
• The energy I put out into the world
• The intention behind what I offer
• The news, social media and commentary I curate for myself

There are probably many other things that could go in either category, and there is certainly some overlap between them. I think a list like this can be useful, though, because it reminds me that, while there are plenty of things I can’t control, I am NOT entirely powerless. There are a lot of things I can control.

My lists may look different than yours, and my lists may look different next year (or next week) than they do today. We live and learn and change.

Undoubtedly, my list looks different today than it would have before experiencing the struggle of the past several years. In this moment, I think the list of what I can control feels more hopeful to me than it would have before the struggle. Maybe that is because I am more grateful than ever for the good in my life and more aware than ever about what I can control and what I can’t.

So, that is my take on practicing Isvara Pranidhana. I would be interested in your take on it. Send me an email at sheri@penpedalpose.com to start the conversation. Maybe I’ll write more about what I learn from readers.