The more I delved into this week’s Yama, Asteya, the more excited I got because I recognized how practicing it could improve quality of life.

Asteya translates as “non-stealing.” Most of us can agree that avoiding taking what doesn’t belong to us is a good practice. Asteya means much more than that, though.

Besides simply keeping our hands off what is not ours, Asteya calls for us to recognize the abundance in our lives and in ourselves. Asteya cautions against dwelling in a feeling of lack—whether that is a lack of material things or a lack worth or worthiness in ourselves.

Such a feeling of lack can get in the way of living our lives fully and of doing the work we feel called to do while we’re here on the planet.

So, what are some of the ways this can manifest, and what can we do to counter it?

· We may feel like we’re not good enough or not deserving of certain good things in our lives. It’s a little embarrassing to admit, but I have been experiencing this lately. I’m able to stop the thoughts fairly quickly when they occur, but they pop back up. In my case, the voice in my head tells me that I don’t deserve to have retired from full-time work because I’m not old enough or haven’t put in enough time. Countering this is a work in progress, but I am making a real effort to release those thoughts when they come. The truth is that one of my primary motivations for retiring from working for someone else is to have the time to devote to my resilience coaching and yoga work, hopefully, adding value for a community that means a lot to me and that I feel called to serve. Allowing the feeling of not deserving my present circumstances to prevail means that I will “steal” energy that could be spent creating something meaningful. So, when those feelings start, I mentally tell myself, “Stop,” and redirect my energy to positive effort, like writing this blog post and planning future offerings.

· Similarly, we may feel like we need to do or be “more.” We may feel like we don’t deserve to rest or to take care of ourselves in other ways because we should be busy constantly. While there may truly be plenty to fill our days, we potentially “steal” productive days or even years of our lives by not allowing time to take care of ourselves. We can’t be our best without engaging in self-care. Another way this feeling of needing to do or be more can manifest is by never taking the leap to try something new because we feel like we need another degree, another certification, more experience, more research, etc. I have allowed this feeling to limit me at times, sometimes for years. I have often felt like I was “getting ready” to do something meaningful. Meanwhile, life passes by. So, we need to trust that we can take a step forward, even if everything doesn’t seem perfectly in place. One helpful mantra if this is an area where you struggle is simply, “I am enough.” I find this comforting and reassuring, whether I am meditating, practicing yoga or riding my bike. Repeating this mantra in my head helps me to feel grounded and increases my confidence, allowing me to take the necessary steps forward, like publishing blog posts or yoga videos, even if everything isn’t perfect yet (or ever).

· Coveting more material things, hoarding and holding on to more than we need is another form “stealing.” It may mean that we live with clutter and that we acquire and accumulate material items that someone else might truly need. I have been trying to ask myself, “Do I really need this? Will I really use it? Will this enhance my life in a meaningful way?” anytime I consider a purchase or when I consider keeping an item during a decluttering session. This is another way to practice Asteya.

· One of the biggest risks that practicing Asteya can help us avoid is the tendency to wait for the other shoe to drop. I have succumbed to this trap at times, and nothing can “steal” the joy of the present moment more reliably. This can take the form of being afraid to love someone because of the inevitability that doing so will involve some form of loss, whether through death or dissolution of the relationship, one way or another. I lived in this sad space for many years after my last dog Andy died in 2011. Although this wasn’t the only reason I didn’t adopt anyone else, the fear of losing another beloved animal was always at play. Then, in early 2023, my son unexpectedly adopted Stockely, my beautiful grandcat, who has become my special buddy. I wouldn’t have been brave enough to bring another animal into my home, but my life has been incredibly enriched by his presence. I have to stop myself when fears of the future creep in. Another way that many of us may be subject to this form of “stealing” the joy from the present is to live in worry that whatever is going well now—like a loved one’s sobriety or mental or physical health—will change. When I start to fall into this worry, now that my son is comparatively thriving, again, I stop myself and express gratitude for all the progress that he—and, subsequently, our family—has made. Choosing gratitude over fear and worry allows us to experience the positive rather than stealing that joy by living in some possible, less joyful future.

This beautiful poem by Donna Ashworth perfectly expresses what I am hoping to convey here:

Joy Chose You

Joy does not arrive with a fanfare

on a red carpet strewn

with the flowers of a perfect life

joy sneaks in

as you pour a cup of coffee

watching the sunlight hit your favourite tree, just right

and you usher joy away

because you are not ready for her

your house is not as it should be for such a distinguished guest

but joy cares nothing for your messy home

or your bank-balance, or your waistline, you see

joy is supposed to slither through

the cracks of your imperfect life

that’s how joy works

you cannot truly invite her

you can only be ready when she appears

and hug her with meaning

because in this very moment

joy chose you

Donna Ashworth

Gratitude for the joy of the present moment, without reaching for more or worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet (and might not happen), seems to me to be the most effective antidote to stealing our power, potential and joy. Here are just a few ways to practice this gratitude and live in Asteya:

· Include an overt statement of gratitude in morning meditation or prayer.

· Keep a gratitude journal or include expressions of gratitude in any journal. One form of doing this that I have practiced for many years, both on paper and in my head is Martin Seligman’s 3 Good Things practice.

· Pause long enough throughout the day to notice blessings—notice when you feel joy—and allow gratitude to wash over you. For example, I practice this when I am rocking my grandbaby; petting my grandcat; noticing my son being a loving dad; having a conversation with my son, especially one that I couldn’t have imagined less than a year ago; getting a good night’s sleep; eating a healthful meal. These are just some of the blessings I recognize on a regular basis, and I truly feel grateful for them, enhancing the present moment.

So, Asteya is a lot more than not stealing a tangible object from someone else. While that’s certainly best practice, an even more valuable form of not stealing is to appreciate who we are, what we have and what we are experiencing in the present moment.

How do you practice Asteya in your daily life?

Are there areas where Asteya could enhance your joy in the present moment?